October 15th 2011

I have awaited this day for months. The one day out of the year that is dedicated to my tiny man who didn't get to stay. I didn't really know how I would react. Would I cry uncontrollably all day? Would I be able to rejoice in his short life? Would I find something special to do for him?

Well, the day is here.

I chose to do a balloon release. It turned out beautiful. I was all alone and I played "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. I watched them float softly by the hand of the wind until they were gone from sight. It was only until I could no longer see them glimmer in the sunlight that I broke down and cried. I bawled my eyes out and didn't care who saw me.

After I was finished with my cry, I decided to take a walk. Perhaps Leo would send me a special gift today. I could not have imagined the magic he sent today.

As I walked I realized that dragonflies surrounded me on all sides. There were more dragonflies than I have seen in weeks! In fact I don't recall seeing one for quite awhile. That was just the beginning.

Now let me start by saying that I have been quite enamored with the Monarch Butterfly since I was a child. I have never in my 29 years seen one in person.

Today I saw 9.

The first one I thought, "It can't be a monarch!" "It has to be some other sort of butterfly!" But then I saw another closer and sure enough it was an elegant monarch!

I wanted to snap a photo of one of them but they were so fast as they floated on the wind that I couldn't seem to get it right. The 4th one was sent for me to photograph. It floated right in front of me and landed on a dandelion. It flew around my head twice before lifting off beyond my sight. I felt my emotions welling up.

I stood in the middle of the street with my camera in hand and cried for joy. Joy that my little man sent me such a glorious gift. Joy that I got to experience his precious life, although too short.

I love you son. I will never forget the day you brought the monarchs to your mommy. Kisses up to heaven. <3