The visit

Today I had a rough moment. I took your brother to a birthday party and didn't think twice that there would be "obstacles" to account for there. I had even explained my situation to the parents of the child and let them know that I wanted some sort of warning if there was to be any "surprises". I was assured that things would be kosher and extremely low key. Well...I arrived early and already there were about 15 people there not including the children. One woman had a beautiful 2 week old baby. One was visibly pregnant. It felt like an emotional ambush. I arrived with my guard down and got sucker punched in the ovaries.

As the party progressed, so did the fertility. Two more visibly pregnant women showed up and one was talking about just finding out she was expecting. I had retreated to a corner of the back yard where nobody could see me cry. Luckily your brother was very busy doing 6 year old birthday party things and didn't need me. I shed some tears onto my cheese pizza and endured some weird looks from people that didn't know what was wrong and some uncomfortable glances from people that had heard. I felt like I wanted to fade away. I wanted to leave, but your brother was having a blast. So I persevered.

At one point I saw something out of the corner of my eye, and turned to see what created the mystery movement. It was a little white butterfly. It looked like a tiny angel. It stayed there with me for awhile. In fact it remained nearby and I watched it flit about until I realized that the anxious feelings had left.

Was it you my love? Did you see mommy's pain and come to soothe it? I believe it was you. Thank you for bringing me the strength necessary to live through today.

A butterfly came floating by and I thought I knew his face.

He landed on my shoulder and spread his wings of lace.

I looked and saw him smiling as he winked and flew away.

I'm sure I heard him whisper, "we will meet again one day".

Author Unknown